I am
sorry I haven’t been updating a frequently. A lot has been going on between
school and work. As for the vulvodynia though, things have been very positive
until today.
All my
pain along the vulva and labia are gone. The only thing I haven’t tried and am
still very scared of is penetration. The first physio appointment where we
massaged my perineal gland was very positive, virtually no pain. A couple weeks
ago when we tried, a bit more pain (a stabbing, knife like pain, probably 4/10
– uncomfortable but bearable).
Today
we tried again (haven’t been able to the last week due to my period – yay.),
she had to stop, I couldn’t relax and it was too painful. I didn’t ask her to
stop, I could have continued but she didn’t feel comfortable or that it would
be beneficial, so instead we did our connective tissue massage and she asked me
to work on my focus and cognitive thoughts on relaxing.
What a
downer! Everything had been going so well: I don’t need to see the psychologist
anymore except for follow-up, not exterior pain, no flare-ups, but apparently
still an aversion and pain for insertion. She’s only been using her finger, so
I am not even capable of dilating yet. Guess back to the cognitive drawing
board.
I’m
going to make a goal until our next appointment to take 5-10 minutes a night to
do some self-exploration down there while focusing on my thoughts and relaxing
my muscles. I’ll let you guys know how it goes.
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