Friday, 21 February 2014

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back...

                I am sorry I haven’t been updating a frequently. A lot has been going on between school and work. As for the vulvodynia though, things have been very positive until today.

                All my pain along the vulva and labia are gone. The only thing I haven’t tried and am still very scared of is penetration. The first physio appointment where we massaged my perineal gland was very positive, virtually no pain. A couple weeks ago when we tried, a bit more pain (a stabbing, knife like pain, probably 4/10 – uncomfortable but bearable).

                Today we tried again (haven’t been able to the last week due to my period – yay.), she had to stop, I couldn’t relax and it was too painful. I didn’t ask her to stop, I could have continued but she didn’t feel comfortable or that it would be beneficial, so instead we did our connective tissue massage and she asked me to work on my focus and cognitive thoughts on relaxing.

                What a downer! Everything had been going so well: I don’t need to see the psychologist anymore except for follow-up, not exterior pain, no flare-ups, but apparently still an aversion and pain for insertion. She’s only been using her finger, so I am not even capable of dilating yet. Guess back to the cognitive drawing board.

                I’m going to make a goal until our next appointment to take 5-10 minutes a night to do some self-exploration down there while focusing on my thoughts and relaxing my muscles. I’ll let you guys know how it goes.