Saturday, 26 October 2013

The Assessment Appointment in September

                In September I went to the assessment appointment I was referred to by my gynecologist, for my pain at the hospital. It was for a program that would provide a bit of treatment (multiple treatments actually) and take data on whether the treatments had an effect or not on my pain.

                It started out well, with an interview with the doctor asking me about my pain, intercourse, anxiety, etc. And then things turned south, he wanted to conduct a genital exam, not what I wanted to hear. I immediately got anxious, but was (and still am) so desperate to start getting this issue treated that I sucked it up and went through with it.

                Thank goodness my partner was there, but it didn’t stop me from bawling my eyes out before the examination even started! They did the Q-tip test where they gently touch the Q-tip to (I think) 6 different areas on the vulva, although it didn’t feel gentle to me, it felt like a knife tip touching me in the same spot, not fun. At one point he asked if he could gently examine the inside of my vagina, as I have pain there as well. I said yes, still desperate to know what’s wrong so I can be treated, but apparently I got so scared my “pelvic floor rolled.” I have no idea what that means! I think I tightened up so much he wouldn’t have been able to insert anything. I wanted to tell him to do it anyway, because after something is inserted, I can relax my pelvic muscles, even though it’s so painful, but I was crying so much I couldn’t communicate to him to continue.

                We went back into his office for a quick conclusion, where I was told my symptoms were too severe for the program to be of any benefit to me, I was handed a piece of paper on proper vaginal care (only cotton underwear, no bubble baths, etc.), a list of pelvic physiotherapists in my area and a list of cognitive behavioural sexual therapists (of which there are none in my area and I have to travel a few hours to see one) and then I was sent out the door.
                A productive yet disappointing appointment to say the least. And now I must cough up a ton more cash to try some pelvic physiotherapy and cognitive behavioural therapy, and I don’t even know if any of it will help!! Ugh. Stay tuned.

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